Wait no, Brenocide, you're wrong on this one. What about Lemmy? He wears cowboy hats. You going to tell me that Lemmy isn't metal now? Are you Lemmy Kilmister? Probably not. Would you be caught dead wearing a black leather cowboy hat with a big skull on the front of it?
Probably yes. I don't write these things for deities like Lemmy Kilmister to read and think about. I write them for chumps like you.
With your wispy goatees, your baggy t-shirts, your hunched postures and your studded belts. I'm on your side, I'm your bud, and I want you to get laid sometimes. I'm not that sucky friend that keeps his opinion to himself about your appearance. I'm that good friend that will stop you at the door before you go out looking like Sheriff Douchely. Cowboy hats are high-crowned, wide-brimmed hats that give the rest of the world a good enough reason to continue to make fun of our country.
Former Pantera snare-slammer, Vinnie Paul wears one to every public appearance, photo shoot, interview, music video, and toilet he sits on to really drive home to everybody that doesn't quite get it yet, that he is in fact originally from a place within the state lines of Texas.
It wouldn't be so bad if said hat wasn't typically decorated with Chinese dragons, flames, skulls, roses, poker cards, barbed wire, tribal designs, snakes, or whatever else a braindead weight lifter would tattoo around his bicep.
I'm sure some of you Pantera fans out there are all pissed now, since I just dissed your favorite heavy-handed drummer. Although nothing scares me less than a Pantera fan, I'll still ask you to kindly cool your jets and realize that we're not just talking about Pantera's drummer, but also the guy who played drums for Damageplan and started the band Hellyeah.
I mean, Hellyeah for god's sake. Like always, I will bring up my trusty metal "old stuff" formula As for the rest of Hellyeah, do you know where the guys in Mudvayne are from? Illinois , and we're not even talking southern Illinois either.
These guys have about as much right to pass themselves off as southern rockers as Staind's Aaron Lewis from Massachusetts. Oh wait. If you really can't help but decline my advice, here's the best way to go about wearing your Ronald Reagan headpiece: Put your hat on. Buy a revolver. Twirl it a couple times. Shoot yourself in the mouth with it. Repeat as necessary, cowpoke. When I was younger, being a metal fan seemed like a much simpler gig.
You liked metal, and you didn't so much like pop, pop rock, punk, rap, and country. Most people I encountered opted for the classic baseball cap adorned with a band logo, naturally or the more daring cowboy hat option, but there were more than a few bucket hats strolling around on deck, too. Sun protection is important, after all, and the amount of pale skin walking around this boat was honestly a little spooky.
Every little bit helps! These two have their heavy metal accessorizing game down. On the left, we have a gorgeously complex Motorhead theme—note the iron cross-emblazoned sailor hat, the Lemmy shirt, the leather, the studs, and the cross necklace. On the right, a looser interpretation on a Megadeth theme sees our subject mix things up with a cowboy hat, high-waisted Megadeth bottoms, and a patched denim vest, worn over an American flag-themed bikini top that sneaks in a sly nod to Dave Mustaine's frenzied patriotism.
It's a lot to take in, and only a couple of true-blue fans could make this level of obsession look so good. Never be afraid to stand up for what you believe in, whether that belief hinges upon your own nuanced interpretation of the Iran deal or on your advocacy work for the glorious cause of shipboard oral sex.
It's usually frowned upon for bands to wear their own merch or at least seen as kind of corny , but in this instance, it was a genius maneuver. Why lug a massive suitcase around when you can take a page from Mike Muir's book and raid your own merch table every night? NET story or review, you must be logged in to an active personal account on Facebook.
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